I’m black. I’m genderqueer. I’m autistic. Let’s look at some books the fit within my very narrow niche of interests and talk about them. Sit at my feet or in a chair or just stand there as I tell you about books I got from my local library and decide to hyperfixate about in no particular order.
Today’s selection is Something in the Woods Loves You.
This was one of the hardest books I had to recently read. I had to put it down and give myself breaks from it for my own mental health. I was worried I wouldn’t finish it…but I did and it was worth the struggle. I struggled because I knew the value of what was being said and identified with it and that identification hurt.
Like most neurodivergent people, I suffer from a level of depression and it can be difficult. Therr are plenty of things I thought I would enjoy that don’t light a spark in my heart. There are things that set off sparks that I don’t particularly want but find myself dragged into and yes, that can be heartbreaking in a different way. It’s hard to explain all these things not just to a general audience but to other neurodivergent people. “Give yourself grace”, “we all have days like that” or “fake it til you make it” can be advice that comes from places of help but are only toxic positivity.
No other book represents not just the struggle of mental health but creativity and failure like this novel and it hurt to read because of how relatable it could be. How accurate and hurtful it felt to just drag yourself kicking and screaming through life as the smallest things in nature or just existence could make you break down at the ovwhelming beauty or cruelty of it. Its a deeply personal and yet reaching work of nonfiction that I didn’t think would sink its claws into me, both natural and man made. It reads less like a story and more like long epic poetry on the nature of depression, as if Homer’s warriors went to Troy and found nothing but ruins and cold ashes. It hurts but that hurt allows you to feel human and I can’t recommend it enough to those who are prepared for such a difficult and meaningful read.
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